I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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