who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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