i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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