I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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