My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize