just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize