Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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