everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
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These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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