I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize