Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize