well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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