I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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