The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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