I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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