I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize