every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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