Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize