I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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