ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
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im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
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BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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