At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
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Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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