i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
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