return my video game
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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