every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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