It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How does it feel to date your dad?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize