My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize