I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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