Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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