so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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