nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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