apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize