So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize