Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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