Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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