How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he was CRYING into my vagina
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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