wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
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