hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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