Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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