I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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