It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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