i barfeds in our rink
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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