we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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