I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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