I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize