Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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