I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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