What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize