dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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