who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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