Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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