An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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