If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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